Stick A Fork In Me... I'm Done!

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Book and Music by:  Ben Stiefel

Genre:  Musical Comedy



Present day.  Charles, a meter maid, starts his day by preparing a de-stressifying mix of fruits and vegetables to blend in his new blender.  When the blender breaks, he calls customer service for help, which only adds to his frustration.  song 1: Stick A Fork In Me... I'm Done!  While Charles continues to struggle with his blender,  Sheila watches a TV show featuring Solstice, who specializes in stress-free living.  song 2: Sea Of Tranquility


As Charles drives to work, dropping Sheila off at the hairdresser, he once again gets stressed over life's small inconveniences.  song 3: Hey Buddy Learn To Drive


At the hairdresser's salon, Sheila watches the TV as Solstice reads a letter Sheila had written to him outlining her husbands anger issues.  Solstice announces that he is flying Sheila and Charles to Hollywood to appear on the show.  Charles initially refuses, and then agrees.  Flying triggers a new wave of stress and anxiety for Charles.  song 4: The Airlines Make Flying The Friendly Skies A Misery


Prior to the TV show taping, Charles and Sheila go to a diner.  There, Charles, true to form, gets agitated over small things such as being told no substitutions are allowed when ordering a breakfast special.  During the TV show taping, Charles displays his anger issues for everyone to see.  The show segment ends abruptly before Solstice has a chance to offer his help and advice.  After the show, Sheila tells Charles that his outburst showed the world what he is really like.  song 5: Charles My Love  After the show taping,  Sheila meets privately with Solstice to discuss help for Charles.  Solstice agrees to help Charles resolve his anger issues by spending a day with him for a fee of ten thousand dollars.


When Charles and Sheila return home, Charles once again shows his inability to handle life's small problems.   Sheila, having finally had enough of trying to cope with Charles' outbursts, announces that unless he get help, she is leaving him.  song 6: You Need Professional Help

End of Act 1


Solstice arrives at Charles and Sheila's home for his day of stress management with Charles.  Solstice tells Charles that he must learn to replace negative thoughts with positive ones.   song 7: Rise Up Above It All


Solstice decides to take Charles for a ride in a tiny prop airplane, in order to teach Charles how to resolve stress.  Solstice's hidden agenda is to teach Charles about life's 'bigger picture' by pushing him out of the airplane to skydive. song 8: Falling/The Wonders Of The World.  After skydiving, Charles realizes that compared to all the beauty in nature, his problems are small and insignificant.  Charles is calm, cool, and stress free until the utility bills come.  song 9:  Payin' Bills


Solstice knows that what Charles needs is fun and joy in his life.  Sheila reminds Charles that one of the most joyful times in his life was when the two of them took salsa dancing lessons.  song 10: Grab Life By The Cojones And Squeeze, Squeeze, Squeeze.  When Solstice leave, Sheila becomes depressed and angry, thinking about the $10,000 loss.  Charles also becomes enraged over the money paid to Solstice.  When Solstice returns, Charles and Sheila tie him up and take back their $10.000 check, tearing it up.  While Charles is then satisfied, Sheila is not.  When Charles leaves, Sheila approaches Solstice's lap menacingly with a pair of pliers,  and proceeds to follow Solstice's earlier advise to "grab life cojones and squeeze, squeeze, squeeze," all to comic effect!

The End